The Land of Oz!

By request, I have included some nursery photos. Everything is ready, now all we need is a baby!

the crib, complete with my handmade dust ruffle.

the mobile, reminiscent of the hot air balloon scene from Wizard of Oz

original photos from the filming of Oz, courtesy of Nana

the changing table, with vintage milk bottles

Her dressers and bookshelves, filled with favorite reads from Jaime's and my childhood. She also has her own lyre chair, already and Alpha Chi in the making!

the granny bed, ready for all the grannies to visit.

thanks to granny Rose for the complete collection of limited edition Wizard of Oz barbie dolls (they even sing!)

the nook, a perfect place for snuggling and love, complete with a window seat for the dogs!

her closet is packed!!

the rubber duckie bath room

and rubber duckie soaps and towels

this girl already has more product than me!

we call this an HBA addiction!

SAHM status initiated...

It’s official; I am on maternity leave, though no baby yet to take care of. Yesterday was her official due date, she didn’t even make a wiggle. She just hung out, did her usual thing and gave me no inkling of labor. Wouldn’t it have been cool for her to come on her due date?
Today marks my first day on my own. Jaime was off yesterday so it just felt like a long weekend, but today I officially feel like a (baby-less) SAHM. I know once she is here I will be busy, but in the mean time I am looking for anything and everything to keep me busy. I have done so much nesting on the last 6 weeks or so that most of my projects are complete, now it is just maintenance. I run the vacuum everyday, I have the cleanest bathrooms in town, I do dishes, I am even crafting in the evenings. This baby better get here soon or I may start a bigger project, one that Jaime will have to participate in and that can’t be good.
The dogs seem a little confused, they are happy to be out and resting in the living room for the whole day, but I think they are probably wondering why I am not leaving them like usual. Annie seems restless. She and I have an unspoken language, I think she is picking up on my anxiety. I think she knows big change is on the way, even if she doesn’t know what it is. I wonder if dogs do know when a baby is coming. She hasn’t made any comments about my ever-growing belly, and she never judges when I eat an extra cookie. Maybe it is just the change in schedule and all of the prep work. Either way, she is in for a big surprise when Maggie shows up!

Annie & Fern

The countdown begins!

I am on the home stretch! Only 12 days left, and I find myself filled with mixed emotions. I am so anxious. I have to admit that a big part of me is just ready to get her out of there! We are running out of room on the womb and the last few weeks have been very uncomfortable. I spend most nights running back and forth to the bathroom because she has dropped and is not resting casually on my bladder. When I am not in the bathroom I am battling a serious case of heartburn; clearly I am not sleeping much.

On the other hand, I am sad to think that this part is almost over. I am sad that in just a matter of days I am going to have to let other people hold her. I will be sharing her with the world. I don't know how I will feel about that. I was just telling Jaime the other night that I can totally understand how women suffer from postpartum depression. Just the thought of her not being inside of me makes me sad. We have been so close for all this time; she has been all mine. She and I have an understanding, a language. At this rate I will never be able to let her go off to college, I'll miss her too much!

That being said; I can't wait to see her face. I am so excited to smell her neck and snuggle her. I have a good feeling we are going to have lots of time to share even once she is on the outside. I am pretty sure the bond we feel now can only get stronger.

Come on Maggie; let's get to it!
XOXO

Reality sets in...

I am officially in the home stretch. Maggie will be here in about 4 weeks (give or take). I must say I am pretty ready for her to arrive. It seems all of my friends and family that already have children failed to mention to me that the last 6 weeks or so are terrible. I have never in my life experienced this level of discomfort. There are things going on with my body (details will be spared) that no normal person could be prepared for. I can't breath, I pee a ridiculous number of times each day and my ankles...oh my ankles. They are so fat I have resorted to tight socks and ice packs to keep them to a size that is acceptable for public.

Jaime used tube socks to keep the packs on my feet. It felt so good!

The beauty of this stage (seems impossible that there is beauty in this, right?) is that she is really active and the body parts are recognizable from the outside now. The doctor confirmed last week that she is head down. She is resting on my right hipbone for now, but I am told that soon she will make her final turn in preparation for her decent into the birth canal. A few days ago at work she was really working my left rib cage over with her feet. I looked down and saw a bumping going on. I put my hand on my tummy and I felt a toe! It had to be a toe; it was like a little pencil eraser just poking it's way out right above my belly button. Most of the time she is facing my back but for just a moment she turned around and let me have it with the tiniest little baby toe! It was amazing. That night I was able to feel a whole leg, bent just a little and fishing around in my midsection. She is also very responsive to me now. If I push, she pushes back. Jaime tried to move her off my hipbone to offer me a moments relief from the constant pressure and she pushed right back into my left side, all the around to my back. She was not pleased!

With all of this final stuff going on the inside, we have also started on the final stages of prep on the outside. The nursery is nearly complete. I am only missing one major item for the wall. The clothes have been washed, the bathroom is stocked, diapers have been inventoried and butt paste has been purchased. Now all we need is a baby. We also completed our last birthing class...the scary one. We watched the videos, we learned the breathing techniques and we even put together a birth plan. I feel like we are as prepared as we can be, however the nurse did mention how she will be making her grand entrance, and I have to admit this is the first time I have really considered the reality of how this will go down. She is coming out of where?? That’s right, I have managed to avoid these thoughts for 8 months now, and sadly my period of denial has come to an end. I am going to have to push a baby out of my vagina in 4 weeks or less. She is going to come out all gooey and slimy and they may have to cut a part of my body that I have never even see for myself. Needless to say, once this reality hit, I made the call to the waxing lady to be sure that business is well under control for the big event. If we are going to make it public property for a day or more, it might as well be something nice to look at.

And while we are on the topic of grossness, do you know what happens after the baby comes out? Do you? You would think that would be the height of the trauma, but no. There is more! It’s called after birth, because it comes after the birth. It is even grosser than the baby goo, and I have to birth it too! The worst part of learning all of this was learning that my husband is very interested in seeing it. Seriously? What about placenta says photo op? He is one sick ticket.

Anyway, I am still trying to process all of this info while trying to figure out my plan for pain management and focusing very intently on NOT thinking about the exit strategy. Worst part, I can't talk to other mothers about it because all they do is tell you how awful it is. I just don't think I can swing even one more horror story about childbirth. I am just keeping my head down, working on my pre-baby to-do list and pretending like the stork is scheduled to stop by at the end of the month. Who says denial will only get you so far?

A history of mama, and more.

My Dearest Maggie, Magpie, Magster, Magaroni, Maggie Moo, Maggie the Magnificent, Magdelena Rose,

I am your Nana. My name is Kathy Jean Presley. I was born on Friday, May 13th, 1960. I was a difficult birth for my mother and a difficult child for my family. I prided myself on that! My mother, Glera Jean Duke Presley is from Tennessee, she was born on July 6, 1933 and my Daddy, Vernon Dallas Presley was from Alabama, he was born on November 7th, 1925. He died in 2002, August 8th. It was a day that defined who I was, who I am, and who I will be for you.

Your mother, Sara Nicole Howell Rivas, was born on Tuesday, September 11, 1979. What an amazing day it was. Hurricane Frederick had just hit the coast of Florida and it was a cloudy day with rain. I loved it. I sat on the hospital bed with her in my arms and we snuggled. The labor to bring her into the world was long, 36 1/2 hours, but she was worth every minute. I did not see her be born but met her soon after. All I can remember thinking was she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was "wiggly", "smooshy", a little pink, and most of all she was a GIRL!!!!!!!!!! She was just what I wanted. The world would never be the same. I dressed her up in her little yellow kitty dress, (the same one you will come home in) and I paraded her around like she was the Hope Diamond, or, in her case, The Ruby Slippers!! She was, and is, my yellow brick road. She and I have been on a very long journey together, one that I hope will end for me before her because I just know I could never live in the world without her. Now, as if she had not done enough for me already, she is preparing to give me the greatest gift ever, YOU!! In just a very few short weeks our lives, once again, will never be the same. Into this crazy world will come, yet another, crazy, wild, wonderful, and wacky girl........Just what I wanted!!

Hummmmmm, let me see, what advice can I give you that will carry you for the rest of your life? Well, most of all I can tell you that having a Mama and Papa like you already have gives you a head start. You see, they love each other more than they love themselves, and that my dear Magpie is your greatest gift. They will always be on your side, they will always be your biggest fans, and they will always think you are one of the greatest miracles in life and I can tell them from experience you are. You won't always like them,and they won't always like you, you won't always believe them and the crazy things they will tell you like, "boys have cooties", and "you will grow a long nose if you lie", and "we know what's best for you" and, my favorite "this hurts me more than it hurts you" as they paddle your backside for some indiscretion. But believe me when I tell you, it is all true. Especially the part about how they love you the most of anyone you will ever have in your life. Well, maybe except for me.

Now, here is what I bring to the table. I have 3 crazy sisters, your Great Aunties, and they will treat you like they have never seen a baby before. They will worship you, as will their children and their husbands, they will buy you pretty things, as if you do not have a scrap of clothing to wear. They will spoil you and tell you that if you don't get what you want from your Mama and Papa or your Nana then just give them a call!! My other gift to you will be your Great Grannie Glera, after all she, and your sweet Great Pa Vernon, is where all this madness started!! She is currently living her second teenage segment of her life so the two of you will get along well in puberty!! Your very special Great Aunties, Lisa and Jane will be the rudder on my ship that will keep me in the water on the right path so that I can do my job! Both of them take care of your Nana in a way that no one else can and they have helped me to be a better mommy to your mama than I could have been alone. Auntie Jane was there the day your Mama came into the world and Auntie Lisa has been there everyday of the ride. You cannot buy the kind of love that all these characters will give you. They will teach you to be funny, complicated, concerned, caring, and more than everything, your very own brand of CRAZY!!

You have one uncle in our camp and that is Scott William. He is my little boy. The one God gave to me and your Mama as a very special gift. He was handpicked for this job and he is up to the task. He is introspective, more quiet than me and your Mama but absolutely just as capable as we are of making very sure that you always have a big strong guy on your side. He is going to be a Daddy too in a mere 2 or so months after you make the scene and he will bring to you a little cousin that you can feel a very special bond with as have all of us with our cousins. Just another assurance in your camp that all will be well with the world for you. Take full advantage of this gig, it will serve you well.

I will tell you this, I have had a good life, one filled with love and mental insanity, the good kind, and most of all I have been able to see your Mama grow up and become this absolutely beautiful young lady with a will of iron, determination that can intimidate, fun at every corner, and married to her soul mate. What else could a mother wish for I ask you? She is complicated, as am I, and I know that you will be too but always remember that the journey is the reward and around every corner in life will always be another something that will sometimes hurt you, heal you, halt you, or make you laugh out loud and you must not shy from any of them. Use the gifts you have been given. Many strong women in your life to lead you, your Mama being the prize in that crown, a Papa with a tender heart and a great sense of humor, and a Nana who already thinks that you are the most special little girl in the world and you are not even here yet!!

It is September 18th, only 5 more weeks till you arrive, or maybe 6 or so if you are like your Mama. I spent last week at your house cleaning out closets, making up beds with your new duvet cover, (made with love by me), preparing your nursery, washing your tiny little clothes, folding them carefully into your dresser drawers, hanging my own clothes in your closet so that making a trip to see you anytime can happen at a moments notice with no preparation, and reassuring your Mama and Papa that they are ready and able to do this big job you bring with you upon your arrival. Yes, we are all ready and we are here. Grow well my little angel and I will see you very soon.

I love you the most little Magpie,

Nana

Mama in the kitty dress the day she came home
1979

First there were two...

I turn 30 in less than a week. I am so excited, the mysterious 30s are finally here. I can't think of a better way to start them than with my Maggie. I feel like this has been a long road to get to this point, not just in this pregnancy, but in our life together. I was thinking about when we met, when I knew I would marry him, our first place, when he purposed, our wedding day and the honeymoon (and so much more in between). All of those things leading up to this, a chance for us to start our little family and make someone great, someone who will make the world a little better, just by being in it.

We made her in Mexico, and I will spare you the details, but I thought sharing the photos of the beautiful place we visited might be a good way to start. Let me show you how Maggie began.

A Message to my Darling Maggie.

Dear Maggie,

I have sat around thinking long and hard about what to write to you. So many thoughts are running through my head trying to find the right words to say. All of my life I have thought about finding the right woman, getting married and having children. Now this has become a reality. Your arrival is just weeks away and I am so excited to meet you. I am curious to know how you will be. What do you look like? How will you act? The one thing that I don’t question is how I feel about you. You have not even come into this world yet, but I love you so much. I am already so proud of you. I want so much to hold you and kiss you and tell you all of this. I want to hold you by the hand and take you to your first day of school. I want to give you a hug and tell you to have a good day, and that everything will be alright. There are so many more things that I want to do that will have to wait. I need to just enjoy you as you are and try not to rush this life. I need to enjoy it all as it comes. I will love you everyday and a little more the next.
Can't wait to see you.
Love,
Papa

The only thing I have to give you.

I promise to hold you as much as possible
I promise to cover you in kisses every day
I promise to tell you how pretty you are all the time
I promise to bury my face in your neck and memorize your smell
I promise to say I love you
I promise to have special mama time with you regularly
I promise to be there for the beginning and the end of every first day of school
I promise to teach you to ride a two-wheeled bike
I promise to encourage you in any sport or hobby you choose
I promise to come to all of your games
I promise to love your Papa until the end of time
I promise to always remind you that you were made from love
I promise to buy you your first car, but only one
I promise I will always keep you safe, until you are 16 and you drive away for the first time on your own, then I promise I will cry.
I promise to take you dress shopping
I promise to teach you how to wear makeup
I promise to never make you have a haircut you don't like
I promise that if you have my butt, I will help you find jeans to fit it, at any cost
I promise to glow with pride at your every accomplishment
I promise you can go anywhere you want for college
I promise to pay for your education, as long as you do your part
I promise to glow on your graduation days, your wedding day and on the day of the birth of your children
I promise to always surround you with people who love you
I promise to protect you from the ugly stuff, but never let you pretend it doesn't exist
I promise that I will make mistakes
I promise there will be days that you hate me
I promise that even on those days, I will love you more than anyone else in the whole world
I promise to be your mama until I take my last breath
Then I promise to look over you from heaven and keep your children safe, so that you can make all these promises to them too.

I love you Magdalena.

You go to the head of the class...over acheiver!

Last week we had our 30 week check up. On avaerage, Maggie should be measuring about 1 cm for every week. At the 28 week check up she was right on par, as usual. At the 30 week check up she measured 32.5 cm! That means she grew 4.5 cm in 2 weeks. And it shows!

31 weeks

You stole my heart but I love you anyway.

I think reality is finally hitting home. I felt terrible for the first 16 weeks, then one day all the sickness went away, and I didn't even feel pregnant. Now, I feel very pregnant and I LOOK pregnant! I am 27 weeks along.


Jaime gets a good giggle everyday at the sheer size of my mid-section. It seems impossible, but she grows every day. I am still maintaining my weight very well. I have only gained about 4 lbs. It helps that I have lost a few pound thanks to getting my thyroid issue diagnosed and not drinking lots of beer on the weekends. I only have 13 weeks to go, and 11 +/- pounds to gain.

Can you believe that? In 13 weeks or less, I will have a Maggie. I can't even wrap my brain around that! My life will forever be changed, I am so excited. It seems like time has flown by. I am really trying to enjoy this part. I want to appreciate what time I have left with just her. This is the last few weeks that I won't have to share her with the world. For the next 13 weeks she is all mine. I have tried to savor every kick (even the hard ones), and enjoy that this experience is just for us. I know her so well now. She has a schedule, she is very particular and she knows how to tell me what she wants or doesn't like.

Along the way I have done my best to share all of this with Jaime. I want him to know what it feels like, what she is doing in there. He is so cute about the whole thing. He marvels at my belly, talks to her, sings to her and even rubs his belly on mine. Last night at 11:00 all I could think about was Ben & Jerry's: "Everything but the...". (Let me just say, if you have not had it, try it...OMG!) Jaime happily got up and went to Tom thumb to get me a pint. Of course he got one too, and there we were; happy as 2 pigs in shit. We ate our ice cream, mumbled about he magnificence of each flavor and burped chocolate wonders. It was awesome! I have to say that my husband ranks right up there with David Letterman: cute, funny and a total smart ass. Just want I want in a man!

It makes me feel so special to be having a baby with him. I knew we were meant to be forever pretty early on in the relationship, we hit a groove and haven't looked back in 6 years. But I never knew that anything could bring us closer. I have a part of him inside of me, and she will be the forever representation of our love for each other. We will look at her every day and think "look what we made!" I know it will be spectacular. I love him so much it hurts. He makes me happy to be Mama. Once again proving that I am the luckiest girl in the world.

I love you fatty.

Rockin' the belly.

Every night when I go to bed, I turn to Jaime and say, "Can you believe we are having a baby".
Every night he turns to me and says, "nope".

We try to have a little "belly time" every night. We talk about her. We talk about us. We talk about our crazy mothers and all of the things they are already doing for her. We talk about how our lives will change when she gets here. We talk about what she will look like. We talk about where she will go to college. We always talk about what kind of music we will play for her.

Jaime loves music. He has a soundtrack for life, there is always something playing in the background. No matter what he is doing, he does it with tunes. He wants her to love music the way he does, love the bands he loves, rock out the way he does. I want her to be a good dancer, I was never very good at that.

So far she's heard Rod Stewart (Wake up Maggie will be her theme song!), Bob Schneider & Cake. Any suggestions?

Maggie goes to Washington.

This July marked the final baby-free vacation. We had been hoping to visit uncle Joe and Dan in D.C. for over a year, and we FINALLY had our chance. Sara bought me a new phone for Christmas, and as part of the deal it came with a free companion pass to use this year. We found a deal on tickets and flew out on Thursday night. Of course our flight was delayed by almost 2 hours. Uncle Joe had already directed us that he would be meeting us at baggage claim #8. He also informed us that if we were late, he would leave cots for us at baggage claim #8. Luckily, he had Dan with him, and he has a soft spot for us so they waited for us to arrive.

After a long haul back to Haymarket that night, we arrived in time for a midnight snack (my favorite time of day). I had a few beers to wash it down and then it was off to bed. We had a big day ahead of us.

Friday, July 3rd
The morning began at 6:30am. We had a tight schedule according to our tour guide and had to be out of the house by 9:00. Uncle Joe served a continental breakfast (his words, not mine) and a quick look at the Post. Then we were off to the metro station to take our first train ride into D.C.

We arrived at the mall just as the Folk-Life Festival was beginning. First we found a port-a-pottie for my pregnant wife, then we found a Chicago Style hot dog for me! They were so good!

Have you had one of these? I highly recommend. Here how it's done:

A typical Chicago-style hot dog includes:

• Steamed poppy seed hot dog bun
• All beef hot dog (steamed) (preferably Vienna Beef)
• Yellow mustard
• Chopped white onion (raw)
• Neon green relish
• Sport peppers
• Tomato wedges
• Crisp kosher dill pickle spear
• Dash of celery salt

It was like nothing I have ever had, and I am quite the connoisseur. This dog gave the vendor at 52nd and Central Park West a run for his money!


After the morning snack we headed over to the Smithsonian Museum of American History. Sara needed to see those Ruby Slippers! You know the ones...

I was also able to reconnect with some old pals!

We had hoped to make it to the archives, but the line was around the corner (literally) so we opted for lunch instead (yay!). We laid in the grass, listened to music and Sara mentally prepared for the hike over to the Lincoln Memorial. On the way we saw the Washington Monument.

Then we passed by 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

Then the WWII Monument.

A much need potty break.

Then we made it over to the Vietnam Memorial Wall.

Finally we arrived at the Lincoln Memorial.

We decided to climb the stairs for a closer look, but Sara decided that if she climbed the stairs she was going to be sleeping with Honest Abe. But she was happy to stay below and take our picture!

It wasn't a bad way to end the day. Sara and I had a great time...
And Maggie did too!

CHECK BACK LATER FOR PHOTOS AND TO READ ABOUT THE REST OF OUR TRIP!

Made in Mexico.

I always thought that I would want to write to my baby when the time came for me to have my own. I thought that I would be filled with so many thoughts and emotions that they would have to spill out somewhere, and seeing as how I live and die by my mac, I could only assume that they would come out on a blog! I didn't know that it would take me 5 months to muster up the energy to get the ball rolling, therefore I am officially playing catch-up.

Today marks my 24th week of pregnancy. Today also marks the first day that I have been emotionally driven to write about this little girl growing inside of me. I think it must be because today is the first day that she will not have any part of me forgetting that she is in there. I woke up today to her hiccups, spent breakfast with some low swift kicks to my bladder, rounded out the afternoon with some chops to my right abdomen, and even now as I sit here, she is having a dance party in the middle somewhere.


Everyday is an adventure. I spent the first 8 weeks keeping it a secret and trying to forget that I there was a person in there. We had promised to keep it a secret until we were in a safe zone and felt more comfortable sharing our news and the more I thought about it, the harder it was to keep quiet. Jaime and I are avid web searchers, so we knew early on that this pregnancy, like half of all first time pregnancies, could end in miscarriage, and I just wasn't willing to take the chance of spilling the beans only to then have to tell people that I had lost the baby. We opted to wait until 14 weeks to spread the news. Extenuating circumstances presented forced us to tell a little early, but with promises that not a word would be spoken outside of that confidence.

At 9 weeks we went to see the doctor and had our first sonogram. There it was, a baby (which really just looked like a bean). It was in there, with a beating heart and everything. It was so wild! It felt real, and surreal all at once. We called it "the bean", we had code words for foods that made me noxious. Jaime ran to find things to fill my unending food fickle. It was a disaster, and he was my hero!

THE BEAN

Everyday I would take it to work with me and take it home. I would sleep with it and eat with it and run errands with it. I trudged through 4 more weeks of unending nausea and discomfort silently. We still had 6 weeks of silence to endure and I was so SICK! I have never had so much trouble with food. I quickly lost 9 lbs and I felt terrible.

Finally at 12 weeks we were ready to tell the family. We make a pilgrimage to Beeville for Easter weekend, my mom and Larry in tow. We made our moms and Mita each a t-shirt reading "Worlds best Grannie" and Worlds best Nana" and of course "Worlds best Aunt".



Once they knew, the word was out and it spread like wild fire. The next week we told our Dallas family and finally the following week I told the folks at work. It was such a relief to let that cat out of the bag!

Six weeks later the grandmas made their way to Dallas for the big reveal. We would finally know what we were having. After all the potatoes and bean burritos I had eaten it was assumed that it would be a spud for a pinto bean!

I was sure it was a boy. I really wanted a boy. Everyone says "I don't care, as long as it is healthy", but not me. I wanted it to be healthy and a boy! I had bonded with this baby as if it was a boy. I dreamt that it was a boy, I knew in my heart, it was a boy. On the 20th week early on a Friday morning we made our way to Dr. Spooner's office. First the sonographer took me and Jaime in. She did some measurements, checked the heart and brain development, assured us that everything was on track. All was well and the baby was in perfect shape and size, just as we had hoped. We asked her not to tell us. We asked to to wait until the whole crew could be in the room. She went and got the rest of our gang. Kathy, Rose, Mo, Aunt Lisa and Auntie Jane all filed in with grins. She showed us the head and feet, the little heart pumping away, the she showed us the legs, the bottom and finally the little girl parts! I cried.

MAGDALENA ROSE RIVAS
aka "Maggie"

I don't know if I cried because I had so many plans already made in my mind for a boy, or if it was more. I think I was scared, I know I am nervous. A girl? Could I do this? Girls are hard work. Girls and moms have complicated relationships. Would it take me 20+ years to get into a groove with her? Would I struggle to communicate with her, would we connect? Even now I tear up just thinking about all of these things, hoping that our path could come with a few less bumps that I had with my own mom. It seemed like it took us so long to get into the groove, I don't know if I can do it all over again from the other end.

Now the reality of my little Maggie bean has set in. She is in there growing like crazy. Amazing me everyday with her new acrobatic abilities. It seemed like I would never feel her at first, now she kicks all day every day.
Jaime talks to her every night, he feels her move once in a while and we listen to her heart beat (storkradio.com) every few days. It is the greatest sound in the world. I feel more confident, more assured of my ability to do this. I feel like if I can just keep my head up and stay focused all the scary thoughts about the endless mistakes I will inevitably make will stay out of my head.

Now, she is over 12 inches long, about 1.5 lbs and changing every day. My belly is growing every day, and I have officially gained back the 9 lbs I lost plus 3 more! Only 16 more weeks until I see her face. Just the thought makes my heart fly.