A labor of love.

You were conceived in Mexico on our honeymoon. I am sure there will be a day that this information will make you cringe, so I am sorry in advance: proceed with the "ewwww". I will never forget that day that I found out I was pregnant, your Papa was white as a ghost in total disbelief, I sat on the floor in the kitchen and thought even then that I would always remember how I felt in that moment. I was never scared; I was always ready to be your mama.
On November 1, 2009 during a quick shopping trip, you made it known that you were ready to be my baby. Dr. Spooner had already scheduled me to be induced the following day, you were a week late, I was big as a house and we were all ready for you to arrive. Strangely, when the doctor told me I would be induced I was upset. I didn't want you to be rushed, I wanted you to come in your own time, on your own terms, and so you can imagine my excitement when my water broke at the Baby Gap. I made it to the bathroom to stuff my pants with paper towels so that I could make it out of the store without too much attention. I made it over to the store where mom and Catherine were shopping; it was 2:30pm. I let them know (quietly) that they should make their purchases quickly so that we could get closer to home. I went to get the car, pulled it up to the door and mom came running with plastic shopping bags for me to sit on. Off we went to the hospital. I called your papa; he was in disbelief, he arranged for someone to come to the store so he could leave and quickly made his way to Plano to meet me. Once I arrived they confirmed that my water had in fact broken and immediately hooked up a fetal monitor to check on your status. I was having some mild contractions; they were about 5-6 minutes apart. Soon your papa arrived and found me in Labor & Delivery.
By 5:00pm Dr. Spooner gave my nurse the clear to start pitocin to help increase my contractions and move things along I was only dilated to 4 and not making much progress. Once the pitocin started you got a little stressed. Your heart rate dropped, the nurses were concerned and elected to stop the drugs until we could both get things back to normal. Your papa and I got a little sleep, my labor had nearly stopped, it was clear that I was going to need some help to get things going again.
The nurses were instructed to start the pitocin again at 2:00am after my water had been broken for 12 hours. On the second round things got going pretty quickly. The contractions came fast and hard. I was focused on Jaime, trying to breath through the pain. I had decided early in my pregnancy that I wanted to try to deliver without drugs. I was open to the option of an epidural, but I wanted to see what the fuss was all about first and see if I could manage it. After 3 hours of contractions (45 minutes of serious ones with lots of pain) I opted for drugs as I knew that without them I would not be able to truly experience this event as I would be completely consumed with the pain. With in minutes of my request a CRNA arrived and began his handy work. It was only a few minutes after that when my toes went numb, then my legs and soon the pain of the contractions were merely a slight pressure in my lower abdomen. It was sure to be smooth sailing from here. After that things started moving quickly. I was dilating slowly but consistently.
That morning when the nurses changed over I was at 6-7 and by noon I was at 10. I continued to breathe through contractions, they were fast, only about a minute apart; and they were big. Even with the drugs I was in a lot of pain. I got into a good rhythm of breathing and counting with Jaime and mom, I was able to manage the pain and the clock ticked by quickly with every contraction. Dr. Spooner arrived at 1:00. I will never forget her words or the expression on her face. She walked in and asked how I was doing. I quickly said, "I need to push, now." She seemed relaxed and cleared the room so she could check my progress to see how things were going and get an idea of where you were. I don't think she thought I would be as far along because almost immediately after putting on her glove she began raising the bed. She told me the nurse would be coaching be through pushing. She moved to the other side of the room, began some paper work feverishly and put on her coat, gloves and mask. She came back to me and the work began. I pushed my heart out. I remember watching your papa for any indication as to how things were going. I remember thinking that this would be one of the last moments of my life, as I know it. I remember being so excited at the thought that in just minutes I would be holding my daughter.
At 2:02pm on November 2, 2009 you arrived with a soft cry. Your eyes were so big and your face pink and round. I only saw you for a moment before they took you away to the warming try. The NICU team had been called in because you were born face up and the forceps were used. They checked you out and confirmed that you were fine. Once everyone cleared out he nurse brought you to me to nurse. We were compatible from the first moment we met. You latched on with no trouble; you stared at me intently the entire time. I couldn’t stop smiling as tears rolled down my cheek. You're perfect; ten fingers, ten toes and the sweetest face a mother could dream of. You would be going to the nursery for your first bath and blood work. Papa went with you, video camera and silly grin in tow. I took a short nap, had some graham crackers in juice and took inventory of my mid-section. I am sure I will be thanking you for that for years to come.
Later I was moved to a post-partum room where we would spend the next 2 days becoming a family. Soon your papa arrived to show me the video of your first bath. I will never forget the look of love on his face, for you and for me. He looked down at me in the bed and said, "You are the most amazing women I have ever known". I think he was impressed with what you and I had just pulled off, see we were a good team from the start.

The Land of Oz!

By request, I have included some nursery photos. Everything is ready, now all we need is a baby!

the crib, complete with my handmade dust ruffle.

the mobile, reminiscent of the hot air balloon scene from Wizard of Oz

original photos from the filming of Oz, courtesy of Nana

the changing table, with vintage milk bottles

Her dressers and bookshelves, filled with favorite reads from Jaime's and my childhood. She also has her own lyre chair, already and Alpha Chi in the making!

the granny bed, ready for all the grannies to visit.

thanks to granny Rose for the complete collection of limited edition Wizard of Oz barbie dolls (they even sing!)

the nook, a perfect place for snuggling and love, complete with a window seat for the dogs!

her closet is packed!!

the rubber duckie bath room

and rubber duckie soaps and towels

this girl already has more product than me!

we call this an HBA addiction!

SAHM status initiated...

It’s official; I am on maternity leave, though no baby yet to take care of. Yesterday was her official due date, she didn’t even make a wiggle. She just hung out, did her usual thing and gave me no inkling of labor. Wouldn’t it have been cool for her to come on her due date?
Today marks my first day on my own. Jaime was off yesterday so it just felt like a long weekend, but today I officially feel like a (baby-less) SAHM. I know once she is here I will be busy, but in the mean time I am looking for anything and everything to keep me busy. I have done so much nesting on the last 6 weeks or so that most of my projects are complete, now it is just maintenance. I run the vacuum everyday, I have the cleanest bathrooms in town, I do dishes, I am even crafting in the evenings. This baby better get here soon or I may start a bigger project, one that Jaime will have to participate in and that can’t be good.
The dogs seem a little confused, they are happy to be out and resting in the living room for the whole day, but I think they are probably wondering why I am not leaving them like usual. Annie seems restless. She and I have an unspoken language, I think she is picking up on my anxiety. I think she knows big change is on the way, even if she doesn’t know what it is. I wonder if dogs do know when a baby is coming. She hasn’t made any comments about my ever-growing belly, and she never judges when I eat an extra cookie. Maybe it is just the change in schedule and all of the prep work. Either way, she is in for a big surprise when Maggie shows up!

Annie & Fern

The countdown begins!

I am on the home stretch! Only 12 days left, and I find myself filled with mixed emotions. I am so anxious. I have to admit that a big part of me is just ready to get her out of there! We are running out of room on the womb and the last few weeks have been very uncomfortable. I spend most nights running back and forth to the bathroom because she has dropped and is not resting casually on my bladder. When I am not in the bathroom I am battling a serious case of heartburn; clearly I am not sleeping much.

On the other hand, I am sad to think that this part is almost over. I am sad that in just a matter of days I am going to have to let other people hold her. I will be sharing her with the world. I don't know how I will feel about that. I was just telling Jaime the other night that I can totally understand how women suffer from postpartum depression. Just the thought of her not being inside of me makes me sad. We have been so close for all this time; she has been all mine. She and I have an understanding, a language. At this rate I will never be able to let her go off to college, I'll miss her too much!

That being said; I can't wait to see her face. I am so excited to smell her neck and snuggle her. I have a good feeling we are going to have lots of time to share even once she is on the outside. I am pretty sure the bond we feel now can only get stronger.

Come on Maggie; let's get to it!
XOXO

Reality sets in...

I am officially in the home stretch. Maggie will be here in about 4 weeks (give or take). I must say I am pretty ready for her to arrive. It seems all of my friends and family that already have children failed to mention to me that the last 6 weeks or so are terrible. I have never in my life experienced this level of discomfort. There are things going on with my body (details will be spared) that no normal person could be prepared for. I can't breath, I pee a ridiculous number of times each day and my ankles...oh my ankles. They are so fat I have resorted to tight socks and ice packs to keep them to a size that is acceptable for public.

Jaime used tube socks to keep the packs on my feet. It felt so good!

The beauty of this stage (seems impossible that there is beauty in this, right?) is that she is really active and the body parts are recognizable from the outside now. The doctor confirmed last week that she is head down. She is resting on my right hipbone for now, but I am told that soon she will make her final turn in preparation for her decent into the birth canal. A few days ago at work she was really working my left rib cage over with her feet. I looked down and saw a bumping going on. I put my hand on my tummy and I felt a toe! It had to be a toe; it was like a little pencil eraser just poking it's way out right above my belly button. Most of the time she is facing my back but for just a moment she turned around and let me have it with the tiniest little baby toe! It was amazing. That night I was able to feel a whole leg, bent just a little and fishing around in my midsection. She is also very responsive to me now. If I push, she pushes back. Jaime tried to move her off my hipbone to offer me a moments relief from the constant pressure and she pushed right back into my left side, all the around to my back. She was not pleased!

With all of this final stuff going on the inside, we have also started on the final stages of prep on the outside. The nursery is nearly complete. I am only missing one major item for the wall. The clothes have been washed, the bathroom is stocked, diapers have been inventoried and butt paste has been purchased. Now all we need is a baby. We also completed our last birthing class...the scary one. We watched the videos, we learned the breathing techniques and we even put together a birth plan. I feel like we are as prepared as we can be, however the nurse did mention how she will be making her grand entrance, and I have to admit this is the first time I have really considered the reality of how this will go down. She is coming out of where?? That’s right, I have managed to avoid these thoughts for 8 months now, and sadly my period of denial has come to an end. I am going to have to push a baby out of my vagina in 4 weeks or less. She is going to come out all gooey and slimy and they may have to cut a part of my body that I have never even see for myself. Needless to say, once this reality hit, I made the call to the waxing lady to be sure that business is well under control for the big event. If we are going to make it public property for a day or more, it might as well be something nice to look at.

And while we are on the topic of grossness, do you know what happens after the baby comes out? Do you? You would think that would be the height of the trauma, but no. There is more! It’s called after birth, because it comes after the birth. It is even grosser than the baby goo, and I have to birth it too! The worst part of learning all of this was learning that my husband is very interested in seeing it. Seriously? What about placenta says photo op? He is one sick ticket.

Anyway, I am still trying to process all of this info while trying to figure out my plan for pain management and focusing very intently on NOT thinking about the exit strategy. Worst part, I can't talk to other mothers about it because all they do is tell you how awful it is. I just don't think I can swing even one more horror story about childbirth. I am just keeping my head down, working on my pre-baby to-do list and pretending like the stork is scheduled to stop by at the end of the month. Who says denial will only get you so far?

A history of mama, and more.

My Dearest Maggie, Magpie, Magster, Magaroni, Maggie Moo, Maggie the Magnificent, Magdelena Rose,

I am your Nana. My name is Kathy Jean Presley. I was born on Friday, May 13th, 1960. I was a difficult birth for my mother and a difficult child for my family. I prided myself on that! My mother, Glera Jean Duke Presley is from Tennessee, she was born on July 6, 1933 and my Daddy, Vernon Dallas Presley was from Alabama, he was born on November 7th, 1925. He died in 2002, August 8th. It was a day that defined who I was, who I am, and who I will be for you.

Your mother, Sara Nicole Howell Rivas, was born on Tuesday, September 11, 1979. What an amazing day it was. Hurricane Frederick had just hit the coast of Florida and it was a cloudy day with rain. I loved it. I sat on the hospital bed with her in my arms and we snuggled. The labor to bring her into the world was long, 36 1/2 hours, but she was worth every minute. I did not see her be born but met her soon after. All I can remember thinking was she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was "wiggly", "smooshy", a little pink, and most of all she was a GIRL!!!!!!!!!! She was just what I wanted. The world would never be the same. I dressed her up in her little yellow kitty dress, (the same one you will come home in) and I paraded her around like she was the Hope Diamond, or, in her case, The Ruby Slippers!! She was, and is, my yellow brick road. She and I have been on a very long journey together, one that I hope will end for me before her because I just know I could never live in the world without her. Now, as if she had not done enough for me already, she is preparing to give me the greatest gift ever, YOU!! In just a very few short weeks our lives, once again, will never be the same. Into this crazy world will come, yet another, crazy, wild, wonderful, and wacky girl........Just what I wanted!!

Hummmmmm, let me see, what advice can I give you that will carry you for the rest of your life? Well, most of all I can tell you that having a Mama and Papa like you already have gives you a head start. You see, they love each other more than they love themselves, and that my dear Magpie is your greatest gift. They will always be on your side, they will always be your biggest fans, and they will always think you are one of the greatest miracles in life and I can tell them from experience you are. You won't always like them,and they won't always like you, you won't always believe them and the crazy things they will tell you like, "boys have cooties", and "you will grow a long nose if you lie", and "we know what's best for you" and, my favorite "this hurts me more than it hurts you" as they paddle your backside for some indiscretion. But believe me when I tell you, it is all true. Especially the part about how they love you the most of anyone you will ever have in your life. Well, maybe except for me.

Now, here is what I bring to the table. I have 3 crazy sisters, your Great Aunties, and they will treat you like they have never seen a baby before. They will worship you, as will their children and their husbands, they will buy you pretty things, as if you do not have a scrap of clothing to wear. They will spoil you and tell you that if you don't get what you want from your Mama and Papa or your Nana then just give them a call!! My other gift to you will be your Great Grannie Glera, after all she, and your sweet Great Pa Vernon, is where all this madness started!! She is currently living her second teenage segment of her life so the two of you will get along well in puberty!! Your very special Great Aunties, Lisa and Jane will be the rudder on my ship that will keep me in the water on the right path so that I can do my job! Both of them take care of your Nana in a way that no one else can and they have helped me to be a better mommy to your mama than I could have been alone. Auntie Jane was there the day your Mama came into the world and Auntie Lisa has been there everyday of the ride. You cannot buy the kind of love that all these characters will give you. They will teach you to be funny, complicated, concerned, caring, and more than everything, your very own brand of CRAZY!!

You have one uncle in our camp and that is Scott William. He is my little boy. The one God gave to me and your Mama as a very special gift. He was handpicked for this job and he is up to the task. He is introspective, more quiet than me and your Mama but absolutely just as capable as we are of making very sure that you always have a big strong guy on your side. He is going to be a Daddy too in a mere 2 or so months after you make the scene and he will bring to you a little cousin that you can feel a very special bond with as have all of us with our cousins. Just another assurance in your camp that all will be well with the world for you. Take full advantage of this gig, it will serve you well.

I will tell you this, I have had a good life, one filled with love and mental insanity, the good kind, and most of all I have been able to see your Mama grow up and become this absolutely beautiful young lady with a will of iron, determination that can intimidate, fun at every corner, and married to her soul mate. What else could a mother wish for I ask you? She is complicated, as am I, and I know that you will be too but always remember that the journey is the reward and around every corner in life will always be another something that will sometimes hurt you, heal you, halt you, or make you laugh out loud and you must not shy from any of them. Use the gifts you have been given. Many strong women in your life to lead you, your Mama being the prize in that crown, a Papa with a tender heart and a great sense of humor, and a Nana who already thinks that you are the most special little girl in the world and you are not even here yet!!

It is September 18th, only 5 more weeks till you arrive, or maybe 6 or so if you are like your Mama. I spent last week at your house cleaning out closets, making up beds with your new duvet cover, (made with love by me), preparing your nursery, washing your tiny little clothes, folding them carefully into your dresser drawers, hanging my own clothes in your closet so that making a trip to see you anytime can happen at a moments notice with no preparation, and reassuring your Mama and Papa that they are ready and able to do this big job you bring with you upon your arrival. Yes, we are all ready and we are here. Grow well my little angel and I will see you very soon.

I love you the most little Magpie,

Nana

Mama in the kitty dress the day she came home
1979

First there were two...

I turn 30 in less than a week. I am so excited, the mysterious 30s are finally here. I can't think of a better way to start them than with my Maggie. I feel like this has been a long road to get to this point, not just in this pregnancy, but in our life together. I was thinking about when we met, when I knew I would marry him, our first place, when he purposed, our wedding day and the honeymoon (and so much more in between). All of those things leading up to this, a chance for us to start our little family and make someone great, someone who will make the world a little better, just by being in it.

We made her in Mexico, and I will spare you the details, but I thought sharing the photos of the beautiful place we visited might be a good way to start. Let me show you how Maggie began.