Reality sets in...

I am officially in the home stretch. Maggie will be here in about 4 weeks (give or take). I must say I am pretty ready for her to arrive. It seems all of my friends and family that already have children failed to mention to me that the last 6 weeks or so are terrible. I have never in my life experienced this level of discomfort. There are things going on with my body (details will be spared) that no normal person could be prepared for. I can't breath, I pee a ridiculous number of times each day and my ankles...oh my ankles. They are so fat I have resorted to tight socks and ice packs to keep them to a size that is acceptable for public.

Jaime used tube socks to keep the packs on my feet. It felt so good!

The beauty of this stage (seems impossible that there is beauty in this, right?) is that she is really active and the body parts are recognizable from the outside now. The doctor confirmed last week that she is head down. She is resting on my right hipbone for now, but I am told that soon she will make her final turn in preparation for her decent into the birth canal. A few days ago at work she was really working my left rib cage over with her feet. I looked down and saw a bumping going on. I put my hand on my tummy and I felt a toe! It had to be a toe; it was like a little pencil eraser just poking it's way out right above my belly button. Most of the time she is facing my back but for just a moment she turned around and let me have it with the tiniest little baby toe! It was amazing. That night I was able to feel a whole leg, bent just a little and fishing around in my midsection. She is also very responsive to me now. If I push, she pushes back. Jaime tried to move her off my hipbone to offer me a moments relief from the constant pressure and she pushed right back into my left side, all the around to my back. She was not pleased!

With all of this final stuff going on the inside, we have also started on the final stages of prep on the outside. The nursery is nearly complete. I am only missing one major item for the wall. The clothes have been washed, the bathroom is stocked, diapers have been inventoried and butt paste has been purchased. Now all we need is a baby. We also completed our last birthing class...the scary one. We watched the videos, we learned the breathing techniques and we even put together a birth plan. I feel like we are as prepared as we can be, however the nurse did mention how she will be making her grand entrance, and I have to admit this is the first time I have really considered the reality of how this will go down. She is coming out of where?? That’s right, I have managed to avoid these thoughts for 8 months now, and sadly my period of denial has come to an end. I am going to have to push a baby out of my vagina in 4 weeks or less. She is going to come out all gooey and slimy and they may have to cut a part of my body that I have never even see for myself. Needless to say, once this reality hit, I made the call to the waxing lady to be sure that business is well under control for the big event. If we are going to make it public property for a day or more, it might as well be something nice to look at.

And while we are on the topic of grossness, do you know what happens after the baby comes out? Do you? You would think that would be the height of the trauma, but no. There is more! It’s called after birth, because it comes after the birth. It is even grosser than the baby goo, and I have to birth it too! The worst part of learning all of this was learning that my husband is very interested in seeing it. Seriously? What about placenta says photo op? He is one sick ticket.

Anyway, I am still trying to process all of this info while trying to figure out my plan for pain management and focusing very intently on NOT thinking about the exit strategy. Worst part, I can't talk to other mothers about it because all they do is tell you how awful it is. I just don't think I can swing even one more horror story about childbirth. I am just keeping my head down, working on my pre-baby to-do list and pretending like the stork is scheduled to stop by at the end of the month. Who says denial will only get you so far?

A history of mama, and more.

My Dearest Maggie, Magpie, Magster, Magaroni, Maggie Moo, Maggie the Magnificent, Magdelena Rose,

I am your Nana. My name is Kathy Jean Presley. I was born on Friday, May 13th, 1960. I was a difficult birth for my mother and a difficult child for my family. I prided myself on that! My mother, Glera Jean Duke Presley is from Tennessee, she was born on July 6, 1933 and my Daddy, Vernon Dallas Presley was from Alabama, he was born on November 7th, 1925. He died in 2002, August 8th. It was a day that defined who I was, who I am, and who I will be for you.

Your mother, Sara Nicole Howell Rivas, was born on Tuesday, September 11, 1979. What an amazing day it was. Hurricane Frederick had just hit the coast of Florida and it was a cloudy day with rain. I loved it. I sat on the hospital bed with her in my arms and we snuggled. The labor to bring her into the world was long, 36 1/2 hours, but she was worth every minute. I did not see her be born but met her soon after. All I can remember thinking was she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was "wiggly", "smooshy", a little pink, and most of all she was a GIRL!!!!!!!!!! She was just what I wanted. The world would never be the same. I dressed her up in her little yellow kitty dress, (the same one you will come home in) and I paraded her around like she was the Hope Diamond, or, in her case, The Ruby Slippers!! She was, and is, my yellow brick road. She and I have been on a very long journey together, one that I hope will end for me before her because I just know I could never live in the world without her. Now, as if she had not done enough for me already, she is preparing to give me the greatest gift ever, YOU!! In just a very few short weeks our lives, once again, will never be the same. Into this crazy world will come, yet another, crazy, wild, wonderful, and wacky girl........Just what I wanted!!

Hummmmmm, let me see, what advice can I give you that will carry you for the rest of your life? Well, most of all I can tell you that having a Mama and Papa like you already have gives you a head start. You see, they love each other more than they love themselves, and that my dear Magpie is your greatest gift. They will always be on your side, they will always be your biggest fans, and they will always think you are one of the greatest miracles in life and I can tell them from experience you are. You won't always like them,and they won't always like you, you won't always believe them and the crazy things they will tell you like, "boys have cooties", and "you will grow a long nose if you lie", and "we know what's best for you" and, my favorite "this hurts me more than it hurts you" as they paddle your backside for some indiscretion. But believe me when I tell you, it is all true. Especially the part about how they love you the most of anyone you will ever have in your life. Well, maybe except for me.

Now, here is what I bring to the table. I have 3 crazy sisters, your Great Aunties, and they will treat you like they have never seen a baby before. They will worship you, as will their children and their husbands, they will buy you pretty things, as if you do not have a scrap of clothing to wear. They will spoil you and tell you that if you don't get what you want from your Mama and Papa or your Nana then just give them a call!! My other gift to you will be your Great Grannie Glera, after all she, and your sweet Great Pa Vernon, is where all this madness started!! She is currently living her second teenage segment of her life so the two of you will get along well in puberty!! Your very special Great Aunties, Lisa and Jane will be the rudder on my ship that will keep me in the water on the right path so that I can do my job! Both of them take care of your Nana in a way that no one else can and they have helped me to be a better mommy to your mama than I could have been alone. Auntie Jane was there the day your Mama came into the world and Auntie Lisa has been there everyday of the ride. You cannot buy the kind of love that all these characters will give you. They will teach you to be funny, complicated, concerned, caring, and more than everything, your very own brand of CRAZY!!

You have one uncle in our camp and that is Scott William. He is my little boy. The one God gave to me and your Mama as a very special gift. He was handpicked for this job and he is up to the task. He is introspective, more quiet than me and your Mama but absolutely just as capable as we are of making very sure that you always have a big strong guy on your side. He is going to be a Daddy too in a mere 2 or so months after you make the scene and he will bring to you a little cousin that you can feel a very special bond with as have all of us with our cousins. Just another assurance in your camp that all will be well with the world for you. Take full advantage of this gig, it will serve you well.

I will tell you this, I have had a good life, one filled with love and mental insanity, the good kind, and most of all I have been able to see your Mama grow up and become this absolutely beautiful young lady with a will of iron, determination that can intimidate, fun at every corner, and married to her soul mate. What else could a mother wish for I ask you? She is complicated, as am I, and I know that you will be too but always remember that the journey is the reward and around every corner in life will always be another something that will sometimes hurt you, heal you, halt you, or make you laugh out loud and you must not shy from any of them. Use the gifts you have been given. Many strong women in your life to lead you, your Mama being the prize in that crown, a Papa with a tender heart and a great sense of humor, and a Nana who already thinks that you are the most special little girl in the world and you are not even here yet!!

It is September 18th, only 5 more weeks till you arrive, or maybe 6 or so if you are like your Mama. I spent last week at your house cleaning out closets, making up beds with your new duvet cover, (made with love by me), preparing your nursery, washing your tiny little clothes, folding them carefully into your dresser drawers, hanging my own clothes in your closet so that making a trip to see you anytime can happen at a moments notice with no preparation, and reassuring your Mama and Papa that they are ready and able to do this big job you bring with you upon your arrival. Yes, we are all ready and we are here. Grow well my little angel and I will see you very soon.

I love you the most little Magpie,

Nana

Mama in the kitty dress the day she came home
1979

First there were two...

I turn 30 in less than a week. I am so excited, the mysterious 30s are finally here. I can't think of a better way to start them than with my Maggie. I feel like this has been a long road to get to this point, not just in this pregnancy, but in our life together. I was thinking about when we met, when I knew I would marry him, our first place, when he purposed, our wedding day and the honeymoon (and so much more in between). All of those things leading up to this, a chance for us to start our little family and make someone great, someone who will make the world a little better, just by being in it.

We made her in Mexico, and I will spare you the details, but I thought sharing the photos of the beautiful place we visited might be a good way to start. Let me show you how Maggie began.

A Message to my Darling Maggie.

Dear Maggie,

I have sat around thinking long and hard about what to write to you. So many thoughts are running through my head trying to find the right words to say. All of my life I have thought about finding the right woman, getting married and having children. Now this has become a reality. Your arrival is just weeks away and I am so excited to meet you. I am curious to know how you will be. What do you look like? How will you act? The one thing that I don’t question is how I feel about you. You have not even come into this world yet, but I love you so much. I am already so proud of you. I want so much to hold you and kiss you and tell you all of this. I want to hold you by the hand and take you to your first day of school. I want to give you a hug and tell you to have a good day, and that everything will be alright. There are so many more things that I want to do that will have to wait. I need to just enjoy you as you are and try not to rush this life. I need to enjoy it all as it comes. I will love you everyday and a little more the next.
Can't wait to see you.
Love,
Papa

The only thing I have to give you.

I promise to hold you as much as possible
I promise to cover you in kisses every day
I promise to tell you how pretty you are all the time
I promise to bury my face in your neck and memorize your smell
I promise to say I love you
I promise to have special mama time with you regularly
I promise to be there for the beginning and the end of every first day of school
I promise to teach you to ride a two-wheeled bike
I promise to encourage you in any sport or hobby you choose
I promise to come to all of your games
I promise to love your Papa until the end of time
I promise to always remind you that you were made from love
I promise to buy you your first car, but only one
I promise I will always keep you safe, until you are 16 and you drive away for the first time on your own, then I promise I will cry.
I promise to take you dress shopping
I promise to teach you how to wear makeup
I promise to never make you have a haircut you don't like
I promise that if you have my butt, I will help you find jeans to fit it, at any cost
I promise to glow with pride at your every accomplishment
I promise you can go anywhere you want for college
I promise to pay for your education, as long as you do your part
I promise to glow on your graduation days, your wedding day and on the day of the birth of your children
I promise to always surround you with people who love you
I promise to protect you from the ugly stuff, but never let you pretend it doesn't exist
I promise that I will make mistakes
I promise there will be days that you hate me
I promise that even on those days, I will love you more than anyone else in the whole world
I promise to be your mama until I take my last breath
Then I promise to look over you from heaven and keep your children safe, so that you can make all these promises to them too.

I love you Magdalena.

You go to the head of the class...over acheiver!

Last week we had our 30 week check up. On avaerage, Maggie should be measuring about 1 cm for every week. At the 28 week check up she was right on par, as usual. At the 30 week check up she measured 32.5 cm! That means she grew 4.5 cm in 2 weeks. And it shows!

31 weeks

You stole my heart but I love you anyway.

I think reality is finally hitting home. I felt terrible for the first 16 weeks, then one day all the sickness went away, and I didn't even feel pregnant. Now, I feel very pregnant and I LOOK pregnant! I am 27 weeks along.


Jaime gets a good giggle everyday at the sheer size of my mid-section. It seems impossible, but she grows every day. I am still maintaining my weight very well. I have only gained about 4 lbs. It helps that I have lost a few pound thanks to getting my thyroid issue diagnosed and not drinking lots of beer on the weekends. I only have 13 weeks to go, and 11 +/- pounds to gain.

Can you believe that? In 13 weeks or less, I will have a Maggie. I can't even wrap my brain around that! My life will forever be changed, I am so excited. It seems like time has flown by. I am really trying to enjoy this part. I want to appreciate what time I have left with just her. This is the last few weeks that I won't have to share her with the world. For the next 13 weeks she is all mine. I have tried to savor every kick (even the hard ones), and enjoy that this experience is just for us. I know her so well now. She has a schedule, she is very particular and she knows how to tell me what she wants or doesn't like.

Along the way I have done my best to share all of this with Jaime. I want him to know what it feels like, what she is doing in there. He is so cute about the whole thing. He marvels at my belly, talks to her, sings to her and even rubs his belly on mine. Last night at 11:00 all I could think about was Ben & Jerry's: "Everything but the...". (Let me just say, if you have not had it, try it...OMG!) Jaime happily got up and went to Tom thumb to get me a pint. Of course he got one too, and there we were; happy as 2 pigs in shit. We ate our ice cream, mumbled about he magnificence of each flavor and burped chocolate wonders. It was awesome! I have to say that my husband ranks right up there with David Letterman: cute, funny and a total smart ass. Just want I want in a man!

It makes me feel so special to be having a baby with him. I knew we were meant to be forever pretty early on in the relationship, we hit a groove and haven't looked back in 6 years. But I never knew that anything could bring us closer. I have a part of him inside of me, and she will be the forever representation of our love for each other. We will look at her every day and think "look what we made!" I know it will be spectacular. I love him so much it hurts. He makes me happy to be Mama. Once again proving that I am the luckiest girl in the world.

I love you fatty.